I do not like girls.
Look, some will cry, he made his coming out. I knew, I knew it, Anon the other, single at 43, I told you that something was amiss.
He does not like football, big cars and silicone breasts. It does not go hunting. Do not smoke cigars and do not waving their Visa Gold at every turn. If it is not a gay lady, I do not know what I mean!
Sorry grandma, but the guys I like them even less than girls. This is my misanthropic side.
So I do not like girls.
But it would be unwise to put them all in one basket. Unwise and untrue. There are nuances between one and other, differences, sometimes profound, critical, even existential.
But beware, these differences are not social, religious, cultural or religious, as people might think those who like schematically. Not even a question of age. Girls, like the readers of Tintin are counted from 7 to 77 years.
In reality, they are divided into five distinct categories: tuna, cod, sardines, shrimp and sirens.
Tuna recognize the beads that are outside of their jeans too tight. In their T-shirts too short, embroidered with gold rhinestones. In their bleached hair and their nails too long, often covered in unlikely colors. They dream of Brad Pitt but simply a bald paunchy almost as long as he pays the barber.
Cod are physically Tuna light. The body better maintained than their cousins the tuna, they are usually located in the arm - the arm when I say, I am polite - of our many sex tourists. That's for the least hypocritical. The Others hang around the neck of young idiots, assholes heirs - if not that of old farts themselves - to ensure their offspring nest warm and cozy. A nest of idiots future and future small cod.
Sardines are the linchpin, so to speak. The vast majority. Colorless and tasteless. Most of them give themselves airs of nuns or artists, it depends on the social class of their parents. The poorest are the nails short and dress like boys, the richest bear the dirty fingernails and dress like gypsies. Curiously, all claim to be driven by an ideal generous, pious and charitable, who left and Third World. They want to format the image and life to their dream of a world in a sardine tin.
Shrimp are the cutest. We meet them at leisure in bars, pubs, nightclubs or any kind of pub. As soon as they can, they sway their hips lazily, hoping to attract the male. They dream of being like Samantha from Sex and the City, but are often only version of porn. They have generally the same purpose as tuna and cod: dondon Hen and daubed.
The sirens, they are the prettiest, most sexy. They have a scent of a woman, deceptive and fleeting. Once flown, there remain only their inner ugliness, and suddenly exhibited protuberant. Uglier than Karl Malden's nose.
No, I definitely do not like girls.
I do not like girls because I love women. I do not like girls because they are the antithesis of women.
Girls are guys with a vagina. Also draws, poor and uninteresting.
The women are beautiful. Whatever their size, weight, shape of their nose, their breasts and their buttocks. Whatever their social, religious, sectarian or cultural.
I'm talking about the pristine beauty , that which emanates from a symphony, a guitar chord, a poem or eyes of a child happy.
Women are beautiful because they are women. The most incredible and most perfect creation of nature.
Nature, primal woman.
There are even men who are women. Designers, builders, inventors. All those who are not afraid to draw what they hold most precious, most sacred: The woman who is in us all.
For we must not delude ourselves, our feminine side is all that is best in us. She is the true muse of poets.
Well, I leave you there without a vociferous crowd, half hairy and half made up, looking to lynch me. I must absconded.
Quickly, the fire exit!
Published in "Health Beauty" - November 2010
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